sketchingideals | 3rd sketch - [written - BACKDATED TO THE MORNING OF OCTOBER 21ST]

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3rd sketch - [written - BACKDATED TO THE MORNING OF OCTOBER 21ST]

[For the most part, it's been pretty easy to pretend nothing happened. No one asks, and Jeb kept to himself for the days following it. Unfortunately, that doesn't really change the fact that he was physically assaulted by someone he doesn't even know about a month ago.

After waking up from what felt like the thousandth painful nightmare (whoever stated that you can't feel pain in your sleep was obviously lying), Jeb goes for his journal and begins to write...]

Good morning, everyone! I just have a quick question--it shouldn't take up much of your time at all. I've been having some nightmares [He pauses, hesitantly, before continuing.] about getting hurt. Do any of you have any suggestions that might help with that kind of thing? It would be really appreciated, thank you in advance!

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Well, I'm not sure. Maybe it does say a lot. What happened was probably my fault anyway, so I guess I really haven't wanted to talk about it much.

[He can't help but wonder if that just makes him more pathetic than he already is.]

Somehow, I doubt that it was your fault. [Which makes it a bit more worrisome.] There are dangers here, even if it doesn't seem like it. They're not all avoidable.

Well, I guess.

[Another pause.]

Miss Sage? Have you ever tried to help someone, but they reacted badly to it?

Was that what happened?

Yeah. I was walking around the village, and I saw someone who looked really upset. So I walked up to them to see what was wrong, but they acted so angry about it, and

[He stops right there, unsure if he should go any further than that. The boy he had talked to that day had given him such a beating, and Jeb didn't even know his name.]

I just wanted to help him, Miss Sage--I don't understand.

[There's something about the description...

There's a pause, before she writes. She doesn't want to make any assumptions, but.]

Sometimes people don't want to be helped. It's... unfortunate, but it happens. Especially if their personalities aren't exactly stable.

This person... could you describe them for me?

He was around my height, with blond hair--ended right below the shoulders, I think? His eyes were blue, and [another long, hesitant pause before continuing:] I've never seen that kind of intense anger in anyone's eyes before, until I saw it in his.

[Unfortunately, describing Mithos' physical traits causes a knot in Jeb's stomach to form, makes him want to pull his knees up to his chest and holds himself. Makes him fear being all by himself, because it makes him remember too many details about what happened.

Pathetic.]

That's someone you need to stay away from. [The hair, the eyes, the anger. Yes, she knows that description all too well. He can't see it, but she clenches a fist in her lap for a moment before finishing her written sentence.] Did you go to one of the clinics after?

[...so she knew, with what little he had actually said about what happened, that he had been hurt. There's a knot in Jeb's throat, staring at his journal before writing down a simple response, slightly worried that he might be lectured for it:]

I didn't.

Getting attacked like that isn't something you should hide.

I just had a few bruises! The clinics were probably being used for more important injuries, right?

[The physical pain had passed, and eventually, those bruises faded into nothing, too. The only thing damage left was on Jeb's psyche.]

That doesn't make it acceptable to not report what happened. It may have healed on its own over time, but you also ran the risk of it being worse than that. How are you to know how busy the clinics may have been if you didn't even ask?

You're right. I'm sorry, I should have reported it. I guess I really wasn't thinking at the time.

[He also blamed himself for what happened, even more than he does now.]

You were scared, and likely blaming yourself, I suppose... in any case, it's already happened. I just hope that for the future, you understand why something like this shouldn't be kept under wraps.

Yeah, I think I do now. He might do it to someone else, right?

[But now the fear of being by himself is getting overwhelming, like something might happen, even though he realizes there's very little chance of that.

It's one of those times where he's seemed to really lost his optimism.]

He has and he will continue to do so, unless something changes. In any case, it's just better for you to avoid all contact with him as much as possible.

[Those words worry him--but not for himself.]

Has he hurt you before, Miss Sage?

I've had to face him a few times. I know what he's capable of.

Is it okay if I ask what exactly he's capable of?

[His handwriting becomes a little bit sloppy in his hesitation. Maybe he doesn't really want to know...]

It's better that you don't know that much. You haven't said very much... but I'm certain you've experienced some of it. He wouldn't hesitate harming anyone for even speaking to him, especially if they said something he didn't agree with.

I guess I'm still a little afraid. There's not much I can do to defend myself against something like that.

Indeed... the best that you can do is to try to avoid contact with him, or contacting others for help should you find yourself in a situation like that. There are a large percentage of people here ready and willing to defend others, after all.

Did he say anything... specific, to you?

[Jeb's handwriting becomes increasingly shaky as he writes, as he recalls.]

That I'm a miserable piece of filth. [Which he agrees with.] That I don't deserve to live. [If it weren't for those who cared about him...] That I'm so worthless, it's disgusting. [Jeb probably agrees with that one the most--why couldn't he fight back? Why couldn't he be stronger? Is he always going to be like...?] That I'm nothing. [But his friends don't think that, do they?] That I don't deserve to

[He tries to steady his now heavily shaking hand before trying to write that last sentence over.] That I don't deserve to exist.

None of that is true, and he didn't have any right to say it.

Do you really think that, Miss Sage?

[He mentally smacks himself for even asking, for letting his low self-esteem be so obvious, but...]

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